The companion to the topic of body odor, deodorant is an often-used (I hope) and rarely-appreciated (I think) modern bit of magic. Think about it. How would you feel about yourself without the daily application? More importantly, how would you feel about those around you?
I introduce the topic of deodorant with a little bit of ass kissing because I would like to ask it a few questions that point to its flaws. Deodorant should know that I appreciate it and respect it, while questioning some of its common failings.
So, deodorant, can you tell me….
…why you work better on my left armpit than my right? Is it because I am right-handed? I have trouble believing it makes that much of a difference. It’s not as though I have a job that requires a lot of shoveling.
….how you got on the hem of my shirt? It seems, when I consider how I applied you, that doesn’t make sense.
…why you smell like body odor when I have been using a brand of you for some time? Does my body adapt to you, or do I start associating you with body odor?
…why you make white shirts yellow? You seem so clear at the outset.
Finally, deodorant, I am curious what life was like before your invention? Did people even know they smelled?