…about hygiene: deodorant

The companion to the topic of body odor, deodorant is an often-used (I hope) and rarely-appreciated (I think) modern bit of magic. Think about it. How would you feel about yourself without the daily application? More importantly, how would you feel about those around you?

I introduce the topic of deodorant with a little bit of ass kissing because I would like to ask it a few questions that point to its flaws. Deodorant should know that I appreciate it and respect it, while questioning some of its common failings.

So, deodorant, can you tell me….

…why you work better on my left armpit than my right? Is it because I am right-handed? I have trouble believing it makes that much of a difference. It’s not as though I have a job that requires a lot of shoveling.

….how you got on the hem of my shirt? It seems, when I consider how I applied you, that doesn’t make sense.

…why you smell like body odor when I have been using a brand of you for some time? Does my body adapt to you, or do I start associating you with body odor?

…why you make white shirts yellow? You seem so clear at the outset.

Finally, deodorant, I am curious what life was like before your invention? Did people even know they smelled?


2 Responses to …about hygiene: deodorant

  1. JR says:

    Ok, as a TIThead I feel obligated to express my TIT concerns. The personal grooming/hygiene topics are not doing it for me. Maybe it’s because I won’t leave the house, under any circumstances (save one) without a full shower and grooming routine, maybe it’s because I just don’t surround myself with gross people, but it just doesn’t impact my life often enough for a humorous or insightful comment.

    So since that isn’t an option, I will tell you the story of someone I went to high school with. This person will not get an alias, and that alias will not appear as a commenter on this website. You see, this young gentlemen had a “limousine company” that it seems was a “front” for a “major drug operation”. Well, among the reasons there will be no appearance and commenting of an alias, this individual is busy appearing on the news and telling everyone that the drugs, enough in quantity to keep all of Ashland intoxicated, was for “personal medical use”. Wow, our (society’s) fault. The multiple municipal police departments, dual state police forces, and United States law enforcement agencies are really going to have egg on their faces.

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