…about dating

Some people like dating. I am not some people. It makes me nervous. Best case scenario, we fall in love and live happily ever after.

The Fairy Tale Ending

Worst case scenario, one (or both) of us dies.

The More Likely Ending

For me, the dating process begins far before we meet up. In the week prior, I have a lot to accomplish. First off, liquid diet, excessive working out and/or starvation until I get so hungry that I eat an entire pizza. Second, shopping. I inevitably will need a new outfit. Third, waxing, skin care, hair styling, etc. I have to look my best to feel my best. Or at least that’s what the media tells me, so I do it.

This doesn't happen overnight. Shout out to Ronqui: your favorite face!

Dating is hard enough when you know what you’re getting into, but sometimes I don’t even realize I’m on a date WHILE I’m on it. Sadly, this has happened more than once. The first time it happened, I went out with one of my best friends and two of our slightly older male co-workers. This was bad for a few very important reasons. 1) These guys were technically our bosses. 2) I had a major crush on my date’s brother (and his brother’s best friend if I’m being completely honest). 3) Our workplace was essentially a microcosm TMZ when it involved hook-ups. Imagine my excitement when I heard rumors swirling about 2 possible couples!  Now imagine my utter terror and humiliation when I realized I was part of one of the couples.

My friend and I vehemently denied romantic involvement with our co-workers. We shrugged it off and tried to act as normal as possible which probably means when asked about “the date” we would sweat, NED and snort laugh. Things never worked out with my date’s brother and I…or his friend. Sad face.

If nothing else, dating provides material for future stories, and for that I am grateful.

Happy Valentine’s Day readers! May you have as bright and twisted a passion as I have. Thanks for the card! 😉

It is love.

*Ashley

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13 Responses to …about dating

  1. Catie says:

    The porn star face! Aaaaaaaaaah! Lol.

  2. Jamie says:

    I just laughed SO hard…from the story to the fairy tail ending. Love it. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  3. JR says:

    Wait, what?? Posts are supposed to go up on Tuesdays. Tuesdays! I am conditioned to look for posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Am I going to have to begin checking holidays? I don’t know what to do.

    Was the death picture posed? Or passed out drunk?

  4. Courtney says:

    I’ve never heard that story before, but it had me laughing out loud. What a surprise to find out the new couple was you. Yikes! I am sure your Prince Charming will come one day, and you will have the fairy tale ending. It happens when you least expect it. Also, I have to say that I thought this post might be a bit cynical to read on Valentine’s Day, so I waited until today to read it. It was funny!

    • First off, I’m more concerned with men who have medical benefits and a steady job than princes. 🙂

      Secondly, I have been least expecting things for 20+ years, I can’t expect any less.

      Lastly, you should laugh out loud at all of our posts. We’re hysterical, beautiful and modest.

  5. Kim says:

    Hahaha, thx for he last picture!

  6. bethG says:

    Wait. I am so out of the loop: WHEN did you get a rose tattoo on your hip??

  7. […] understand that dating and finding the right person can be difficult. If you’re married like El Douche above, […]

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