…about hot sauce

The last couple of posts might just lead you to believe that I don’t like anything (see me bitching here and here). That’s not true. I like a lot of things. I like knitting and writing and beer drinking and baby hugging* and hiking and camping and bread baking and reading and playing video games and having long phone conversations.**

And I like hot sauce. Very much.

I like it the way you like your little black dress.

for everything***

I like all hot sauces, including Tabasco (which we call 'basco, or when we are feeling brief 'basc')

I like it the way you like sappy movies.

when I need a good cry

I also like Sriracha (which we call Sweetie Sauce)

I like it the way you like your favorite necklace.

with anything

I like it the way you liked that boy with the floppy hair and hypercolor t-shirt in your third grade class.

I have a crush on it

And I like Louisiana style (which we call hot sauce)

I like it the way you like your pillow.

I make out with it****

So you see, I really do like things. If all of you A-holes were covered in hot sauce, I’d like you more. As it is, well, I guess you’d better hope we don’t meet in a dark alley.


*limited to particular babies.

**limited to particular people

***me, whispering

****not really (*****)

(*****but you really make out with your pillow)


11 Responses to …about hot sauce

  1. JR says:

    Big fan. Like most of them, but I will say I think it has honed in on the usage of actual chilis.

    I also must say I am feeling conflicted. You see, I have very many things to say about my love for hot sauces. But I find myself so overwhelmed by those things that I am having great difficulty organizing my thoughts.

    Instead I will leave you with this story. My friend, we will call him Blawn Blocktea, has offered that if I purchased a one million scoville unit hot sauce (some are rather expensive) that he would dunk a chicken nugget into it and eat it. It is important to note at this point that they are not actually “hot sauce” but are considered a “food additive” by definition. Anyhow, the real problem was that I never had any. I fairly recently acquired some as a gift. So yeah, I’ll have to remind him and then watch him involuntarily vomit.

    • bethro says:

      JR and Blocktea: if you do this and film it, I will highlight it as a follow up to this post. It will go down in history as the best blog post ever (not a lot of stiff competition).

  2. Blawn Blocktea says:

    Offer still stands

  3. M M Mim says:

    Where did I go wrong?

  4. Jean says:

    I find it fascinating that you write in the singular “I” for most of this post, then revert to “we” when explaining your nicknames for sauces. When you say “we” does it refer to Bethro, Bethro and Phil, or a particular region?

    • bethro says:

      It’s very simple: I can only state my beliefs in the blog post, but it is true that Mr. Vanilli and I use those terms. So “I” is about my likes and “we” refers to the two of us who use those terms.

      As far as a region goes, someday I will bend one to my will. On that day they will use my terms.

  5. Trinette says:

    A girl after my own heart! I put it on EVERYTHING I eat. I sometimes even think about drinking it (Cholula and Franks Red hot being my favs). That was pre-pregnancy too. Good thing this baby doesn’t seem to have a problem with it, or it’s just learn to deal!

    • bethro says:

      My little parasite did not object to hot sauce until the end when I started getting reflux because there was no room. Now that my parasite is a barnacle, he seems to do just fine with whatever comes out in the milk.

      Eggs are a pregnancy super food (I’m sure you have heard by now) and a little ‘basc’ and eggs go nicely 😉

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