There are a lot of random ass women’s clothes and accessories on the market. In fact, we’ve been inundated with requests for posts about them (by inundated I mean three). So instead of a one night stand, we’re committing to random ass women’s clothes & accessories like a relationship. As such, we will talk about them from time to time, feature them as the week’s TIT (things I thought) and develop a deep appreciation for them while harboring secret resentment.
This week, I have chosen to honor a friend straight from her weekend trip to the Narcotics Anonymous convention and feature GoGirl.
According to the company’s website, “GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to urinate while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic.”
Wow. I mean, really?!? First off, I have no desire to stand up to bathrooms. I would much rather stand up to perverts who use the term FUD and consumers who purchase the GoGirl. Secondly, all women across the world have mastered the Hoversquat and manage just fine. It’s not necessarily the most comfortable position, but it works the glutes while eliminating the waste. Thirdly, what is neat and/or discreet about a hot pink urine funnel? Lastly, and most importantly…EWW. Just eww.
Apparently, GoGirl is reusable and portable. Because that’s exactly what I want: to pee into a medical grade silicone tool and then carry it around in my purse. The website also gives instructions for using GoGirl: “GoGirl is easy to use. Just lower your panties, and put GoGirl against your body. Aim…” Wait, are we still talking about FUDs here?
And if you’re not horrified yet, this should do it, “Once you practice a time or two, using a GoGirl is going to feel like second nature. You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.” Too. Much. Information. And, no thank you.