First off, thanks to Beth for trading days with me this week. My hand escapade (along with the sexy dancing she mentioned) temporarily handicapped me. It really is VERY sexy dancing.
In gratitude, I will take this opportunity to answer all of her questions about Santa’s reindeer.
1) It’s very simple, Beth. Have you ever seen the movie Elf with Will Ferrell? In the opening sequence, we see Mr. Narwhal. Narwhals are the unicorns of the sea. Their horns are pure magic. On Christmas Eve, Santa drinks hot chocolate spiked with narwhal horn dust. This gives him the power to perform great feats of magic. There are obvious rules and regulations regarding narwhal dust, and it is only used in small quantities by Santa and occasionally Air Force One.
2) Reindeer don’t mate. That would obviously take all of the innocence and purity out of Christmas. They live forever like herpes.
3) Yes, some regular deer are jealous of them, but it goes with the territory. They are the hottest North Pole celebrities. It’s usually fine, but when the paparazzi catches them in compromising situations (Vixen used to go by Marjorie before the strange incident with Mr. Narwhal…we’ve all been there, Vix!) it can be disastrous.
4) They don’t worry about anything.
5) They are compensated with love and joy. They don’t retire. They lost nothing but gained a greater appreciation for warm fuzzies. Why are you trying to make this a conspiracy?
6) Of course Santa doesn’t ride them singly. He hibernates all year until Christmas Eve. Oh Beth!
Happy holidays, friends!